Remember back in school how we were taught to write using strictly proper grammar.  The school solution involved following all the rules to the letter.

Fast forward to today.  If you use the school solution when writing your fundraising copy you’ll be wrong.  I say “wrong” because deciding to write that way is deciding to deliberately lower your response rates.  And I don’t believe such a decision is the right one for a fundraiser to make. 

Writing in a pure grammatically correct style usually results in stiff, cold copy.  Again, such a style stifles response in your fundraising web copy, emails, newsletters, and direct mail letters.  

Want to write like an Android?
 

Any Star Trek Next Generation fans out there?  Remember Commander Data, the android?  He always spoke in precisely correct English and in a formal style.  For example, he never used contractions.  Definitely NOT how human beings naturally speak.

Or perhaps you remember the opening phrase at the start of each Star Trek episode:  “To boldly go where no man has gone before.”

That’s grammatically incorrect because it’s a split infinitive.  It should be stated, “To go boldly where no man has gone before.”  But who talks like that?  It just doesn’t “sound” right.

And you don’t want your writing to sound like Commander Data, our friendly android.  His style is brilliantly correct but uninspiring.

Here’s another example:  “That’s something I simply won’t put up with.”

Again, grammatically incorrect because we ended the sentence with a preposition.  But would you prefer this version?  “That is something up with which I shall not put.”

I doubt it.  So what’s my point? 

Write Like You Talk

 
Write in a conversational style that is light and breezy, especially for acquisition. Picture yourself sitting in a comfortable easy chair.  You’re surrounded by eager children sitting in a circle on the floor around you.  And you’re reading them a story.

Write your acquisition letter, lapsed donor letter, newsletter, house file letter, or story for the web with that image in mind.  And remember, you won’t keep their attention if you’re bragging about yourself or doing it in a formal style.  And your donors won’t stay with you either – regardless of their education level.  

Focus on your donor and keep your fundraising copy light, breezy, friendly, and conversational.  This is critical in the business of nonprofit fundraising.

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There’s a debate on that question in a Washington Post article by the Associated Press (AP), “2 aid efforts in Haiti: Multinational and DIY”

It centers around how quickly – or not so quickly – large nonprofit orgs are getting temporary shelter to the earthquake victims in Haiti.  With the rainy season fast approaching, shelter is a top priority for the people and the government.  Seven weeks have passed since the earthquake and only about a third of the people who need shelter have received it.

Two “DIY” examples from the AP article follow:

1.  A property developer from Miami put up a “…proper [tent] camp for hundreds of families on the soccer field of a gated community of luxury villas. It took him three days and less than $5,000.”

This developer “found a Miami company offering a waterproof tent for five, the average size of a family in Haiti, for $90 including ground sheets, poles and mosquito nets. Then he found another that asked $37.05 per tent – including shipping to Haiti – if he’d buy 50,000 of them.”

2.  A church group from Atlanta collected 1,505 donated tents to shelter 7,525 people plus $24,185

The volunteer DIY people say they can move faster, cheaper and more efficiently than the large NGO’s.  They also criticize that the large nonprofit orgs are “…inefficient and confused.”

ShelterBoxUSA has tent kits for a 10-member family at $1,000 per tent kit.  Veronica Miller, president of ShelterBoxUSA, said, Our “…kit includes a multipurpose blanket, water purification kit, stove and cooking pots – as well as the cost of securing permission to use land and coordinating who gets help first.”  She added that the tents are designed to last for years.

Many organizations, including GuideStar, think that relief efforts on the scale needed in Haiti are best left to the experts.  Now, to some extent we’re comparing apples and oranges in this debate. Nonetheless the problem remains that Haiti needs serious amounts of help fast!

What do you think?  Are the large nonprofits bogged down in bureaucracy, inefficient, and too slow?  Does Haiti need more help from Do-It-Yourselfers?

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Twitter Fundraising – It’s more than a social community

March 4, 2010

Twitter can not only help you raise awareness and build community, it’s also a fundraising tool.  A recent Mashable post covered this very topic, 10 Tips for Successful Twitter Fundraising.
After each of Mashable’s 10 tips listed below, I added a short synopsis of what it covers.  But I also recommend you read the full article on Mashable.
1. Cultivate a [...]

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Get more newsletter subscribers

March 2, 2010

Give a great reason why members and donors ought to subscribe.  What’s in it for them?
Simply having a box to type in an email address on your website isn’t enough.  Our in-boxes are overflowing with email – whether they’re newsletters or something else.   You need to give potential donors and members like me a darn [...]

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Olympic Curling, Fundraising and Direct-Marketing are kindred spirits

February 26, 2010

This analogy struck me today because I’ve been watching so much of the curling competitions during the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, British Columbia.
I find it an utterly fascinating sport.  And if by chance you haven’t seen any of it, the women’s gold medal match is today at 6pm EST. And the men’s gold medal [...]

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Write a newsletter donors and members WANT to read

February 25, 2010

You sent out your newsletter the other day.  And now you’re on cloud nine because it’s receiving lots of praise.
But what’s most important is . . . WHO is doing the praising.  Not your board of directors.  Not your creative director or executive director.
Your donors are praising your newsletter
Or if you’re an association . . . [...]

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How your association can “team up” to help Haiti

February 24, 2010

I’ve written before about how professional associations and trade organizations could combine efforts with charities.  And the disaster relief work in Haiti is an outstanding case in point.
The ASAE blog, Acronym has an extensive post (including comments) of how associations are helping in Haiti. They go into more detail than what I have here, including additional [...]

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There’s good news from DMA’s study on Direct Mail

February 22, 2010

The Direct Marketing Association released the “DMA 2010 Statistical Fact Book: The Definitive Source for Direct Marketing Benchmarks.”    It’s based on research from more than 75 leading sources.
And in the words of the DMA, “…the 2010 Statistical Fact Book is the source for benchmarks on campaign response, projections for media spending in coming years, breakdowns [...]

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Why Charities Must Say “Thank You”

February 19, 2010

I’ve written articles on my website, blog posts, created a product on the subject, and written about it several times in my newsletter.  What is this hot subject?
Saying “thank you” after receiving a donation
And today in her blog – Kivi’s Nonprofit Communication Blog – Kivi Leroux Miller shared results of her annual experiment on charities and their expressions [...]

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Avoid becoming an obsolete charity

February 18, 2010

According to the IRS there are about 1.8 million nonprofits in the United States alone.  The question is: How many can survive for the next few years and beyond?
Marcia Stepanek has a pointed view on the subject in her Cause Global blog – “Are charities becoming obsolete?” I recommend you read it.  But first, I [...]

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